No matter how much you prepare yourself mentally, every single day of motherhood comes with a new challenge. Some days, you might feel stressed, lost and inundated and some days you might be on cloud nine. But remember that your child is watching your every move and listening to your every word. So here are 10 things you should never say to your child:
1. “Stop crying!”- Children cry to express themselves. They cry when they think they made you upset. When you ask your child to stop crying, you are indirectly asking him to start learning to suppress his emotions.
2. “You are a bad boy/girl”- Correct negatives with positives and never with any negative remarks. Negativity is something that is not seen in children and something that should not be fed to them.
3. “Why can’t you be like the other kid?”- Comparing with other kids is one of the biggest injustices you can do to your child. It would leave him feeling upset that he would never be able to win your appreciation.
4. “Very good”- Is something that should be said but not overdone. Appreciate your kid and acknowledge his efforts. But if you start appreciating him for every single thing he does, he might start depending on others’ acknowledgement for his happiness. He might start doing things to impress people — his parents, or friends, rather than actually doing them.
5. “You disappoint me!”- No, never say that to a child who is looking up to you for everything. To him, you are everything and if he suddenly feels like he has failed you, it would demotivate him a great deal.
6. “Behave like a boy/girl”- Never start stereotyping based on gender. This is something that children should never learn and this statement when uttered too often, creates mental blocks in kids that some behavior patterns are meant only for boys and some only for girls.
7. “Leave me alone”- When you are angry, upset or stressed, few minutes of alone time is definitely going to help tackle your emotions the right way. But take time out by splashing some water on your face instead of asking your child to leave you alone.
8. “I’m going to let your father know what you did”- You do not want your kid to develop a fear for his father, do you?
9. “Don’t eat that. You will become fat”- Body image is something that kids develop at a young age and this is influenced by parents to a great extent. so watch what you say to them and inculcate in them a positive attitude about their appearance.
10. “Big boys/girls don’t get scared”- Every emotion of the child has to be acknowledged. What appears silly to an adult might mean a lot to the child. So teach him to accept and acknowledge every emotion.
So these were the things you should never say to your child. Children learn more from what they see rather than from what they hear. So, in addition to phrasing your comments wisely, set a good example for your child to follow.