Different Parenting Styles-- Which One Do You Follow?
There are different parenting styles that parents follow and each one of them has a different impact on the child. We have all been in situations when things get out of control with our little ones. Sometimes we deal patiently with the situation by reasoning out with the child. But sometimes we deny them chocolates as punishment and sometimes we even yell at them; only to feel sorry later.
Every child is unique and so is every child-parent relationship. The way you bond, communicate, nurture and discipline your child is known as parenting style. Your parenting style has a deep bearing on your child’s future personality.
Research establishes Authoritarian, Authoritative and Permissive as three main parenting styles.
Universally there is no best practice and for most of us, it may be a mix of one or more styles depending on the situation. But the characteristics that dominate the way you bond with your child most of the times can be classified as your parenting style.
What is Authoritarian Parenting Style?
If you expect your child to always adhere to strict rules and are extremely demanding from her, you are an authoritarian parent. As an authoritarian parent, you believe in giving punishments rather than consequences.
An authoritarian parent does not give reasons for any instruction but only expect their child to obey them. To put it crudely, an authoritarian parent does not want the “drill” to be broken just like a military camp! And they want to completely re-shape their child’s personality without heeding to what they are like naturally.
Studies show that children who grow up in an authoritarian environment follow rules as adults but may also turn out to be low on self-esteem. Lack of intimacy and warmth in their childhood may make them aggressive and hostile when they grow up. As adults, they may focus on being angry rather than on solving a problem at hand.
What is Authoritative Parenting Style?
Considered to be the most conducive parenting style — here also children are expected to follow the rules but they have a say in formulating rules. When you involve your child while setting rules and tell her the reason behind setting any limit you have and an authoritative parenting style.
Though the name sounds very similar to authoritarian, authoritative is a very warm and nurturing parenting style. It is a responsive way of raising up children. For example, when you simply order your child to forcefully clean up the toys after playing, you are being authoritarian. But when you tell her — that cleaning up helps mummy in keeping the house tidy and cleanliness is necessary for staying healthy — hence your child should clean up after playing; then you are being authoritative.
You also use consequences, rewards, and praise to reinforce good behavior rather than punishment. A simple acknowledgment of your child’s good behavior rather than noticing only negatives helps too!
Children who are raised in an authoritative household have been found to be happy, content and successful in life. They are adept at making decisions and evaluating their own safety.
What is Permissive Parenting Style?
You are being a permissive parent if you indulge your child excessively. While it is great to be warm and responsive towards your kid, but if you do not want to enforce any rules on her it may not do her much good in the long run.
Parents who do not discipline their children at all and are overly lenient promote chances of “misbehavior” in their kids.
Research shows that kids who grow up in a permissive parenting style struggle academically. They may also not much appreciate rules and authority. They are found to have low self-esteem later on in life.
So what’s your Parenting Style?
It is essential for you as a parent to adopt a disciplining strategy. The style may also vary with different situations. But it is important that we recognize what we want our children to be when they grow up.
And that will be shaped significantly by how we treat them today.
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