Should You Be Spanking Your Child As Punishment?
By Nikita Kumar
It is a common debate in the parenting world, whether spanking your child is okay as a punishment.
Last month we had been invited to a dinner party by one of our friends. Both my kids were very excited as their son is also of the same age as mine. We arrived for the dinner and as the men were chit-chatting and children were playing, we ladies started laying the table for dinner.
As I was about to place the dal-makhni on the table, my younger one dashed into me and the food fell all over the place and also on his head. It was such an embarrassing situation. I was about to slap my son when my husband quickly pulled him.
Children being innocent and carefree, enjoy every moment of their life. That is natural but in this enjoyment, they tend to make mistakes. Moreover, in our society, spanking is not considered wrong. In fact, it is seen as a mechanism to make our children realize their mistakes and punish them accordingly. But hitting or humiliating them is not a solution. These are not the justified acts to make them understand to be careful and mature and discipline them.
The possible effects of spanking your child
Physical punishment or humiliating treatment can decrease the child’s self- esteem. Your child may feel bad as he definitely realized that he has done something wrong. And then a physical abuse can be a mental torture for him. He can develop a low self image and loose self confidence. He may face psychological problems. These children later in life find their past experiences as a hindrance in their progress which will affect both their personal and professional lives.
Parents are the ultimate source of happiness for a child. It is a fact that children want to please their parents more than anything else in this world. If they are praised daily for doing what their parents want them to do, they will be motivated to engage in those behaviors. They also have the habit of imitating their parents or family members. As we all know, a child has less than average abilities as an adult does, so when we only tend to make mistakes, then why shouldn’t our children make mistakes and learn from them?
The alternate to spanking your child
Punishments in any form increase aggression and spoil the intimacy, love, and respect for relationships. Children should be given due respect for their personality and individuality.
1) Parents should adopt positive parenthood
For instance, if you are very angry and want to hit your kid, leave the place to avoid the situation. Calm down, and in this quiet time, you will find some alternative solution to the problem.
2) Take out time for yourself
Parents are prone to spank their children when they do not have enough time for themselves and they feel the need for it. So it is important for them to exercise, read, take a walk or pray.
3) Be kind but firm in what you want them to do
Parents should be firm when it comes to implementing commands and rules. They should be polite but not budge when it comes to bending rules.
4) Give them choices
It is an effective alternative to spanking. If the child disobeys your instructions ask him to do what he likes and then he can return and do the rest when he wants.
5) Use logical consequences
When he does anything wrong make him aware of his mistakes and ask him to do petty things as compensation for his deeds.
Hence, gentle instructions, supported by a strong foundation of love and respect is the only effective way to bring about commendable behavior based on your child’s strong inner values instead of superficially good behavior based on their fear.
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