Taking out time for your partner amid mommy & daddy duties
With a new baby in the house, sleepless nights, and endless responsibilities, very often quality time between you and your partner takes a backseat. These tips would help rekindle your bond, love, while you continue to parent the little one simultaneously.
Researchers think that one of the reasons the transition to parenthood might be hard on relationships is because your adorable bundle of joy wreaks havoc on your sleep. This is very simple. When you are low on sleep, you might find yourself feeling more irritable and hostile and reacting more strongly when something goes bad.
Your partner may not be designed to take care of your baby as you do but that’s absolutely all right. Appreciate him whenever he tries to give a helping hand to you in household chores or taking care of the baby, like feeding in a bottle, changing diapers, doing laundry.
This appreciation will encourage him to shoulder your responsibilities and ease your work and you would love to start adoring him to be such an understanding spouse.
Grandma’s Tip: Try to sympathise with each other. This is not a battle but parenting is all about teamwork! Whenever you both take shifts during the night to take care and soothe your cranky baby, try to sympathise with each other. Just a hug from each side will comfort both and give a feeling that you can rest your shoulders on each other in time of need.
Start a new hobby together
Make some time to be creative and start a hobby together, like gardening, designing dresses for the newborn. This will connect your togetherness.
Find time to connect
The most important ingredient for intimacy is the period of staying connected. Once your baby has settled down for the night, or at least for a few hours- seize the moment and relax on the couch and watch your favourite television show together cuddling or holding hands. Or sit together for some ‘face to face time.’ Focusing on each other for as little as 10 minutes can make a huge difference. Quite often, new parents with the arrival of their newborn even tend to forget to have eye contact with each other. By simply craving for some moments just to be together you will feel more connected and in touch.
Plan some post-work rituals
Decide to take a stroll together every evening with your baby. All three of you will benefit from the fresh air and exercise and it is a great time for you and your partner to reconnect.
Have fun with games
Games are a great way to have fun and laugh together. You can play games with a deck of cards or scrabble board or do the crossword or Sudoku puzzle together as you both snuggle on the couch.
When you talk with your partner talk effectively. Do not express your anger and frustration in a way it causes criticism to him. Instead, be polite and talk kindly to assist you while you give a bath to your baby or take care of your baby while you nap. Showing your gratitude and hugs take a long way in maintaining a cordial relationship with your partner.
Do not maintain an account
Do not keep a track of what all you are doing, to say everything, while your spouse is doing nothing. Instead keep a score of what your spouse is doing well and praise him always. This way he will be encouraged and you will become optimistic and an uplifting wife rather than a negative and nagging one.
Allot ‘me time’
You really need some ‘me time’ for yourself and so does your spouse. At the beginning of the week, both of you sit down together and figure out when each of you will get a chance to be on your own without the other and the baby to take care. You will really return to each other rejuvenated and ready to reconnect.
Limit social media
Do not spend too much time on social media like Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, and Twitter. This will just take away all your precious time together.
The easiest way to fan the flames of romance is to act romantic, even when you do not feel it. Sit close to one another, hold hands and smile. This will rekindle the love between you both.
Trust and pray
With the little one, you may not be finding time for prayers. Do not stop praying for the relationship that you both have started. Pray for your spouse, pray to strengthen your relationship with your spouse and overcome all the hurdles you face in your new life. Your relationship after your baby may not be the bed of roses that you would have envisioned. But remember, having a baby can strengthen bonds and indeed change everything, making amazing things happen when you learn how to manage things together.